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 Ferbian before the attack on Quel'thalas

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Ferbian



Posts : 158
Join date : 2008-01-01

PostSubject: Ferbian before the attack on Quel'thalas   Mon 04 Feb 2008, 16:17

ooc: okay.. this is my first real RP story.. so no flames for how bad it might be Embarassed

ic:

It was a cold day in Dalaran, the plague was pesterising across lordaeron and rumours of the corrupted prince was spreading across the streets.

Ferbian was in his regular place down by the Fountain, meditating calmly, trying to controle magic and creating fireballs and what not.

across the city of Dalaran in the far end, near the chamber of magic, modera was talking with another member of the council of kirin tor also known as "the six", the other Member was Drenden.

the 2 members of the six was discussing the happening in lordaeron, the scourges advancing, and as a few of the only knowing people aware of Arthas's corruption, they were discussing the Topic of sending Mages of the kirin tor to Quel'Thas.
mordera was sure that the Kirin Tor should participate in the protection of the Sunwell, but Drenden was unsure if it was a worthy risk to take.

In the mainwhile Ferbian began walking towards the champer of magic after finishing his meditation, Ferbian was unaware of what he would be running into, but continued to walk, to advance his endless studies, and to make ready for the weekly trip to southshore for ingrediences, and to meet with his wife taresa and his beloved daugther kindra.

Ferbian was walking along the street mumbling words for buffing spells and destructing curses to memorise them in case of battle along the road to Southshore, as he was walking he bumbed into Drenden and fell, from the ground he looked up

"I'm so sorry great member of the council" Ferbian was a little frigthened about Drenden, he had before done big deals out of small incidents.

Drenden smiled upon Ferbian and reached out a hand, ferbian was surpriced about the casual greeting.

Modera smiled too and nodded towards Drenden, Ferbian looked confused at the 2 members of the council.

"aah Ferbian, pleased to meet you, i was just thinking about you" said Modera, Ferbian looked even more confused

"i got a job for you, its a big thing so i need you to prepare as soon as possible"

Ferbian had been quiet for a while before answering "but.. what do you need me to do great member of the six?"

Ferbian was always slightly polite towards the Members of the six, no matter how insulting or what not they could be.

Drenden looked seriously at Modera, still thinking this "expedition" would be a bad idea, but that didn't stop Modera, she simply ignored Drenden and continued with commanding the task.

"The council has been discussing an advancing army towards Quel'Thas, and we..I.. decided we should send an expedition to Quel'Thas to help the Elves, we can't risk loosing the Sunwell to the Scourge, who knows what could happend then?" said Modera with a slight worried expression

Ferbian sighed slightly, and began to mumble slightly "and you want me to join this expedition?"

Modera nodded, still not noticing Drenden's serious look.

"B..but.. what about my family?.. will you please tell my wife and my daugther about this happening?"

Modera nodded, and smiled slightly as Ferbian rushed past the members of the six towards his home in Dalaran, to begin packing for the awaiting adventure, he was nervous about this happening, and completely unaware of the event that lied before him.

ooc: so? please comment..
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Cathleen

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Join date : 2007-12-03
Age : 27
Location : Denmark

PostSubject: Re: Ferbian before the attack on Quel'thalas   Mon 04 Feb 2008, 16:55

Quote: Ferbian was in his regular place down by the Fountain, meditating calmly, trying to controle magic and creating fireballs and what not.

That's the only thing that i can correct you on, and that's not even a mistake only a matter of colors.

"and what not" kinda decreases the atmosphere of mystic about Dalaran and mages. For a rogue story or something it would be fitting, but it's not fitting in a mage story IMO.

The rest is lovely written, very informative. I would have liked a little more details and sorroundings and such, but it's not a big deal, just me who likes to feel like a part of the story. Diffrent people likes diffrent ways of writing. I like details some don't, and i won't tell you how to write, only give some pointers for it to suit my taste a little more.

Hope my reply is any help and not mistaken to be dissing your story or writing style, cause it's not. Keep up the good works. Very Happy
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Ferbian



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PostSubject: Re: Ferbian before the attack on Quel'thalas   Mon 04 Feb 2008, 17:11

ya okay i'll try to remember that another time ^^
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Arkanoth

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Join date : 2008-01-12
Age : 29
Location : Hungary

PostSubject: Re: Ferbian before the attack on Quel'thalas   Mon 04 Feb 2008, 17:38

It's a good starter for a story but one thing... it's called Quel'Thalas. ^^ You must have mixed it with Kael'Thas .)
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Ferbian



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PostSubject: Re: Ferbian before the attack on Quel'thalas   Mon 04 Feb 2008, 18:16

i actually did notice it.. i went over it.. must have missed it somewhere

perhaps it forgot to register the editting part i did =>
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