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 Why Elves Suck

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Posts : 565
Join date : 2007-08-13
Age : 31
Location : UK

PostSubject: Why Elves Suck   Fri 13 Jun 2008, 14:12

Mistake 1: Destroying the Scepter of the Shifting Sands

Bronze Dragonflight: "Now that we've finally sealed away the nemesis of all Azeroth, here's a scepter should you need to break the seal and fight them again."
Fandral: "WAAAHH!"
*breaks scepter*
Bronze Dragonflight: "You dumb f*cker. If we ever see those guys again, we’re gonna kill ‘em.”

Mistake 2: Destroying the Well of Eternity

Queen Azshara: "Blahaharrrgh, I'm addicted to magic!"
Night Elves: "Well I guess that's cool."
Queen Azshara: "Blahahaharrrgh, I'm summoning demons!"
Night Elves: "Ok, that's not so cool."
*Bigass War!*
Malfurion: "I've got an idea! Let's blow up the world!"
Tyrande: "Come on, that's your solution to everything."
Malfurion: "No it's not! By the way, hold this."
Tyrande: "Hey, this looks like a-"
Tyrande: "...dammit, Malfurion."

Mistake 3: Recreating the Well of Eternity, Then Leaving It There and Falling Asleep

Illidan: "Hey guys, now that we just got done blowing THAT up, I just made a new one!"
Night Elves: "You stupid f*cker."
Malfurion: "Illidan, you're under arrest for playing the devil rock music."
Illidan: "How wude!"
Malfurion: "Anyway, let's just plant a tree over top of this sucker and call it a day."
Tyrande: "Uh, what do you want us women to do, Mal honey?"
Malfurion: "You all stay awake and keep the stove warm in case we're hungry when we wake up. Oh, and don't go running off having fun with your friends or anything, I want you in the kitchen where you belong."
Tyrande: "But-"
Malfurion: "zzzzzzzzzzzz"
Tyrande: "Dammit."

Mistake 4: Staying Asleep

Orcs: "FOR THE HORDE! And also the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzzzz"
Undead: "For the lich king! Also, again, the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzSNRKzzzzz"

Mistake 5: Picking a Fight with the Horde

Night Elves: "WTF?! Orcs cutting down our trees? Gettem!"
Cenarius: "I'LL take the case!"
Night Elves: "WTF!!"
Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek

Mistake 6: Picking a Fight with the Alliance

Night Elves: “WTF? Humans and Dwarves in our land? Gettem!”
Alliance: “We have tanks.”
Night Elves: “Tanks are no match for nature!”
Night Elves: “Where’d our empire go?”
Alliance: [Common] lol

Mistake 7: Releasing Illidan

Tyrande: "We need help, gotta wake the druids up. Oh hey, Illidan! I'm sure 10,000 years of confinement has only rehabilitated him."
Illidan: "GROWLowlorarrrr"
Tyrande: "...although I could be wrong."
Illidan: "OOGHRARGHghhh!" *runs off*

Mistake 8: Blowing up the World, AGAIN

Medivh: "Quit fighting you nubs! Archimonde is coming!"
Night Elves: "Oh crap you're right. Too late now!"
Archimonde: "Bwahahahaha!"
Malfurion: "Hey, I've got an idea!"
Everyone: *groans*

Mistake 9: Stopping Illidan from killing the Lich King

Malfurion: "OMG! Illidan's doing something crazy to Northrend! Gotta stop him!"
Maiev: "I'm kookoo for catching Illidan!" *trips Tyrande*
Tyrande: "Aiiee!" *falls into river*
Malfurion and Illidan: "I'LL take the case!"
Illidan: "So you see, I was trying to DESTROY THE MOST POWERFUL EVIL BEING IN AZEROTH."
Malfurion: "Oh, uh..... my bad."
Illidan: “If I ever see those guys again, I’m gonna kill ‘em.”

Mistake 10: Betraying the Alliance

Alliance: “Mmkay, well, you’re gonna stay over HERE, and we’re gonna go fight the Scourge. Have fun.”
Vashj: “Hey, uh, wanna come join some crazy demon guy and leave your friends to die?”
Kael’thas: “MAGIC?!”
Vashj: “Uh, yeah, sure.”
Kael’thas: “MAGIC! LET’S GO, GUYS! MAGIC!”
Alliance: “If we ever see those guys again we’re gonna kill ‘em.”

Mistake 11: Building a new World Tree

Fandral: "Man, I miss immortality. Let's make a new world tree!"
Malfurion: "I don't think that's a good-"
Fandral: "STFU nub."
Fandral: "See? This place is great."
Malfurion: “You built it in the middle of the ocean.”
Fandral: “That’s OK, it’s really big!”
Malfurion: "I dunno, it smells kinda bad... and I think I just stepped in some ooze."
Fandral: "Yeah? Well if you don't like it, why don't you go get lost in the Emerald Dream for a few years?!"
Malfurion: "You know what?! I think I will!" *gets lost in the Emerald Dream*
Night Elves: *facepalm*
Teldrassil: “I think I’m dying…”
Rest of Alliance: "Remind me why we put up with these guys?"

Mistake 12: Invading the Tempest Keep

Kael’thas: “Hey guys, MAGIC, I got a great idea! Let’s invade a Naaru’s home!”
M’uru: “Uh, that’s probably not a good idea, overall.”
Kael’thas: “Shut up, nub, MAGIC, I like your shiny crystals!”
M’uru: *facepalm*
A’dal: “If I ever see those guys again, I’m gonna kill ‘em.”

Mistake 13: Crashing the Exodar

Draenei: “We Come In Peace! Okay guys, let’s land this thing somewhere safe…”
Blood elves: “MAGIC!! Shiny ship! Go go, superlaser gadget!”
Blood elves: "Huh?"
*crash Exodar*
Blood elves: "teeheeheehee"
Draenei: “If we ever see those guys again, we’re gonna kill ‘em.”

Mistake 14: Stealing the Light, then Letting M’uru get Stolen by Kael’thas

Liadrin: “Hey guys, I got a great idea! Let’s suck the life out of a Naaru!
Blood elves: “Sounds safe! Let’s do it!”
*drains M’uru*
Blood elves: “We’re so powerful now! YAY!”
Kael’thas: “Hmm, shiny Naaru, MAGIC, lemme have it!”
*steals M’uru*
Kael’thas: “Now let’s summon KIL’JAEDEN THE DECEIVER OF WORLDS!”
Rest of Universe: “If we ever see those guys again, we’re gonna kill ‘em.”


I'm a Warlock, I roll my face on the Keyboard and people die.
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Join date : 2007-12-16
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PostSubject: Re: Why Elves Suck   Fri 13 Jun 2008, 22:05

Dude Quoting Fandar is abit low... ONE of the most bat shit crazy person in the world...
*Kim'jael enter's Orgimmar*
Kim'jael:"Hay! Troll banker come here i'll show you some thing".
Anonimus Banker:"Shore!"
*Banker's get's robed and Kim'jael walk's down the sunny horison".

And yeah the elf's are a crazy people but who hasent hade a bat shit crazy periud?
Humans: "Hay! We Kill troll we get magic *Poff legion" Wops...."
Dwarfs: "HAY LESTS SUMMON A FIRE DUDE IT'Z SO COOL!!!! *Poff Land burned to shit" Wops!"
Gnome's:" HAY! INVATION! LET'S LAZOR!*Poff* O sh--..."
Drenai/eredar:" Hay... this deamon dude seams prity cool!
Troll: "Hay! i'z eat yo!"
Undead: Hmm.... Let's make a plague... And let's give this sh-- to the dog of that farm and see what happens...
So elv's are probebly the top... but no one's a saint... EXEPT: ZOMG NARU!
(Then they turn dark and people die.)
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Join date : 2007-11-09
Age : 27
Location : Latvia

PostSubject: Re: Why Elves Suck   Sat 14 Jun 2008, 00:53

I am so hoping that something in WotLK happens that hits the Naaru off their "goodie goodie big shiny floating crystals of all things warm and fuzzy" throne. I want more GRIMDARK in Warcraft lore!
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