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 A short story... By (somewhat) "Epic" Zeak

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Zeak

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Join date : 2008-02-25
Age : 25
Location : Sweden..

PostSubject: A short story... By (somewhat) "Epic" Zeak   Tue 11 Mar 2008, 00:53

(this is a short story I wrote on the buss from school... I hope you'll enjoy it)



Rain.



He walked trough the little park in the apartment block. The rain fell down on him. His cloths, soaked, his body, Ice cold. In a faint attempt to keep his hands warm he kept them deep within his jacket pockets. The wind blew hard and cold at his side, his head hurting by the constant cold. He would have tried to get into one of the apartment buildings but they were locked now. All the trees were without leaves aswell. There was no cover from the wind or the rain. Pain in his arm, he couldn’t feel anything in it. The small cloth that covered the wound was wet and soaked in blood.



Too much…



Flapping wings. A bird.



He continued walking, his concentrated on feeling for it. Yes… it was there. A small warmth. His fingers, still numb.



He fell… He couldn’t take it anymore.



He lied there, at a base of a tree.



Wet

Wounded

Broken




“Forgive me” he thought before embracing the cold, embracing what would come with it.



Giving up…

Embracing death.








The rain stopped…

A friendly presence.





Nooooow... Please comment and if you don't mind.. Rank it on a scale on one to ten.. Thanks for taking the time to read it... And yes.. it was supposed to be abit fragmented



By.. afro Epic Zeak
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Kim'Jael

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PostSubject: Re: A short story... By (somewhat) "Epic" Zeak   Tue 11 Mar 2008, 00:59

That was a realy nice story!
Realy sadd! I feel like i whant to know more!
5/5!
Very Happy!
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Ferbian



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PostSubject: Re: A short story... By (somewhat) "Epic" Zeak   Tue 11 Mar 2008, 01:03

it was pretty okay i reckon Smile
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Lokkir

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PostSubject: Re: A short story... By (somewhat) "Epic" Zeak   Tue 11 Mar 2008, 02:19

I hate rating but i must say that i like it!
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Cathleen

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PostSubject: Re: A short story... By (somewhat) "Epic" Zeak   Tue 11 Mar 2008, 02:34

7-1 with 3 as the highest i'll give it 12.

Liked it.

7/10 i think, hard to rate without a comparison.
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Zeak

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Age : 25
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PostSubject: Re: A short story... By (somewhat) "Epic" Zeak   Tue 11 Mar 2008, 07:59

Thanks alot guys Very Happy
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