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 Captivity

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Orktush

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Posts : 88
Join date : 2007-09-09
Age : 26
Location : Belgium-Turnhout

PostSubject: Captivity   Thu 18 Oct 2007, 09:07

((This was the time when Orktush's name was still Urktash and when he was held captive.I tried to make something dramatic and sad so..anyway hope you like it))

Urktash:How long has it been..How long did i have to hear the screams that
wander around these halls? And how long will it take before i will
forget everything?..




These are the questions that are spinning in Urktash's mind..While
quietly staring outside..through the small window that was in his
prison..
When suddenly..the halls were filled again with screams and the laughs of humans..



*Urktash sighes and looks at the cold,dark and dirty floor where he was sitting on.*

Urktash:Another one..another soul which memories are been torn apart..and false ones are given to it..No..it won't be long anymore..


Suddenly he hears the voices of humans in the hall where he was held captive..

*Urktash looks through a small hole in the door,big enough to see through it.*
There he sees an orc warrior,dragged by 2 humans,armored in black,dragging the orc through the halls.His eyes are showing no emotions..only the signs of no hope.

*Urktash sits against the icy wall in his prison and thinks about what they have done to him*

Horrorfull memories..the flames that ate away his skin..the dark room..when they were filling his mind with lies.

Then they have put him in a bath..water..seems normal..but when you
enter..he couldn't feel his feet anymore..soon his legs..so icy that it
makes him feel so weak.

*Urktash awakes from a sound behind him,a key unlocking the lock on his door.*
The door opens and Urktash sees a human,a black robe,a face,white las a corpse and a bloodied dagger in his hand..he enters the room and sais:

---Come..come my friend..it is time for your purification! all those bad thoughts in your mind..don't worry,they will be all gone soon.And then you can be your truly self..a human.--

Then two other humans entered the room..grabbing Urktash's hands with their cold plate gloves..dragging him through dark halls..almost endlessly.
Wherever he looks,he can see broken souls..all orcs. he can see no happiness..not the smallest light of hope.

Then..finally..windows..finally he saw some light that is brighter than that in his cell.But when he passed them..he couldn't believe his eyes..A training field.Orcs,armored as the humans..acting like them..filled with false memories..and others are listening to someone..explaining something he cannot hear.

But then he saw a sign..explosives?..
Urktash:It..It cannot be..they are being trained in exploding in an army?

*
Urktash is shocked..and suddenly he got quiet..his mouth wide open..eyes staring into nothing.*
A dagger..right in his back.he can feel..poison..spreading in his veins..
he is starting to feel weaker..vurnerable..When suddenly..

That human dressed in black..came closer and whispered.
--It is time..,you will be like us soon.--

Everything turned black..and soon the halls were filled with his screams.


Last edited by on Wed 24 Oct 2007, 08:49; edited 3 times in total
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Gilandael
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Join date : 2007-09-17

PostSubject: Re: Captivity   Thu 18 Oct 2007, 22:06

A prisoner eh? Easy, probable. I like it, however. The story is good enough, but the perspectives in the writing threw me off a bit. First perspective, then suddenly, third perspective and back.

I think it would look better if you wrote it all in one perspective. "Urktosh looked through the hole in the door, seeing the humans drag the broken orc warrior down the halls. Hopelessness filled his mind."

And so forth.
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Orktush

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Posts : 88
Join date : 2007-09-09
Age : 26
Location : Belgium-Turnhout

PostSubject: Re: Captivity   Fri 19 Oct 2007, 18:06

ah,sorry about that..i'm not the best at constructing propper prespectives..but i will keep it in mind ^^
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Orktush

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Posts : 88
Join date : 2007-09-09
Age : 26
Location : Belgium-Turnhout

PostSubject: Re: Captivity   Wed 24 Oct 2007, 08:47

ok edited it a bit..hope this reads better
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